How to live without relying on men and still be feminine?

Excerpt from part of my walking advice to a cute single mother I came across on the FB group:

❓Cute mom's question:

“Everybody has an opinion. How to live without relying on men and still be feminine?

I'm a single mom and sometimes I feel like I'm a little tight, how can I be both tough and feminine?"

❣️My advice:

👉I am also a single mother of 2 babies 1 boy 1 girl, I have also coached single mothers on this journey of self love and practicing masculinity, I would like to share your concerns. That was me when I first approached femininity a few years ago.

Before, I used to hate taking care of children and being a mother. When I connect with a successful woman, I don't "hate" it more, but I still feel tired sometimes. My friend's tension can be understood that sometimes you don't want to do some things but still have to do it for the sake of raising children, so I understand. On this occasion, I would like to share some of my experiences as follows:

Being male or female is yang or yin, energy. At first learning about this concept will still be surprised and stereotyped by practice, such as soft speech is yin, and strong action is yang.

However, when I practice a lot and begin to understand how it works, I draw a motto that is: words are not equal to the energy of words, actions are not equal to the energy of actions.

Specifically being flexible in energy conversion

In raising children, you think you will have to exercise a lot of masculinity if you don't really enjoy the job. Things like washing dishes, cooking, cleaning the house.. and countless things to plan and calculate on time.. if you "think" you "must" do, then this is the masculine energy. This will lead to fatigue and lack of energy in the long run.

When you change your energy more flexible, you will find joy in even the things that need the most masculine (yang). For example, I like to cook because I can be creative (yin) not because I do it to serve my children (yang), I like to wash dishes because I don't have to think but wash in mindfulness, my brain rests (yin). , it's not that I have to wash it because there's no one to help (yang). But I don't like to let my children go out and teach them because I have to think a lot (yang) and move a lot (yang), so I agree with my ex-husband to help me with this (yin). Or I take my children to places where I also like to play, or when I'm really happy and comfortable, I do (yin).

At the same time, you can receive support from family, relatives, friends, and most importantly, from your child, when he or she sees that you are happy to help, he will help more (receive), if he does not want to eat as he likes, let your child choose, or analyze for them to understand (stop controlling the results); Be patient with your children's progress.

My ex-husband helps a lot both financially and mentally, even though he has a new family, I also have a new one, it's not natural to be like that, it's energy operation.

⚡️Yin and yang support each other especially in relationships

Yin cannot be without the positive part, which is the boundary and action part, so that the yin can spread freely. But if it's too yin, it's not relaxation, it's lethargy, lazy and undisciplined.

You still go to work and earn money to ensure your own happiness - when you do yang, yin blooms. And men also reflect a lot of masculinity in you.

If you don't take care of yourself first, it's easy to fall into a state of complete dependence on men and easily attract toxic masculine men (authoritarian, patriarchal, jealous ..). And when you love yourself enough, masculine energy is also an action that is enough for you to bring yourself a lot of joy in life, and men will look at it to learn how to love you. Men are the universe that brings you joy that is at least equal to or greater than the joy you have given yourself in 3 aspects: financial, emotional, spiritual. So when we are poor, negative, sad, it is also difficult to attract rich people who are rich in material and emotional resources.

Also, when you are in this position of self-created joy, it is easier to relax in a relationship because you do not depend on or cling to anything.

It's action, and about communicating words, even if you say it softly, of course this is highly recommended, but words that come from the mindset of controlling the outcome, controlling the man like that, still carry the yang energy.

And sometimes your words are clear, concise, and clear, like when you set boundaries, even though it sounds masculine, you are actually operating according to negative thinking, setting boundaries for your feminity to develop. .

⚡️Yin energy mindset determines a lot

One of the most important thoughts is that women deserve to be loved, released, and happy. But it doesn't mean that I turned into a princess without learning, cultivating and moving forward. However, with this mindset, if I can set a boundary, all the people, experiences, and events won't bring me the release of happiness, I'm ready to go out of it.

Ex: a little money doesn't make me happy because I have no choice, no freedom—> I make money and I don't close the door to men, but I certainly don't lock you guys earning less than me 😆 And this is also a way to tell the universe to definitely step out of the experience of poverty because it doesn't make me happy.

Because I deserve to be loved, deserve to be happy, so when you come, you will love and pamper in different ways, I need to choose the way I feel most comfortable, the most relaxed. And invite less miscellaneous guys to save energy, not everyone who comes will also, uh, nod. This is also a way of saying no to the universe with an unhappy experience in love.

All yang energy must be used to help develop one's own life and not to men. You want control, control your cash flow, control your plans, you want to give, give in your community, help your relatives or girlfriends. Of course, it is difficult to check 100%, so if there is a fall, it is considered a lesson. Men let them decide to stay or go.

Just be friends with certain standards and boundaries, with creativity and without fear, with courage and a growth mindset, with unhealed wounds, with pains that sometimes take a lifetime to heal, with your weaknesses and strengths, it's all about you.

When developing feminine energy, intuition often develops very strongly, you just do whatever is right with your emotions and energy. Each woman has different values ​​and different definitions of happiness. Just let your intuition tells you!

Balancing and healing chakras also helps a lot, but if the spiritual language is a bit confusing, the above is my way of expressing myself through real experience.

It's a bit long, although this is only a small part of my practical experience, but I hope it helps you ”

Sometimes when the consultant gets into a real heat circuit, imagine how hot he is with the real consultant 😆

I love women and being a woman; I love working with women

So, if you find your style suitable and want to squeeze all your experience, coaching 1-1 is still welcome.

The class Feminine Boost - Intensive feminism practice solving problems arising in the process of feminism practice is opened for the waitlist

Regardless of the form of counseling, I will always work with the motto of awakening, connecting and developing your self-love.

Thank you and send all the good vibes to you 🤗🤗🤗

#selfacceptance #lifestyle