Why should pain also be appreciated?

In the age of fast consuming culture, we do everything fast. We don't have time to breathe, to fully enjoy food, to look back to what our emotions are like. A lot of people might get this question from someone else "How are you?" How is it going?" But few people ask themselves the same. And gradually, more people develop the habit of skipping all sadness, because the surrounding society tends to foster joy rather than sadness. When the something negative occurs, the saying that is most often received is "Well, why do you have to be sad?" "It's not worth it/ that guy is not worth ... hang out and you will forget everything" or "Fighting, everything will be fine". Then each person went deeper into his/her shell so that others would not judge his or her sadness. This is the # 1 judgmental type.

Type 2 of judgment, "Why are you so sensitive?" "Why are you so quick to tears with small problems", etc. Sound familiar, right? Since when did sensitivity become so negative? While in fact, people are sensitive may need help, or need to be listened to and overcome, and most of them also have very warm hearts because they understand other people's feelings. In the past, I was often judged as a sensitive person, how funny that is when the adjective "sensitive" is a negative adjective to criticize the vulnerability of others. Only when I have a chance to meet people who don't have these sensitivities then I realized something else. Those people they can’t get through what their feelings are, they even act very well, very happy, until they meet the trigger questions (questions asking the right touch of pain), they burst into tears. And only when they cry after they feel true joy. I was fortunate to meet these people then I realized a surprising truth, it turned out that for a long time my sensitivity was not as bad as I thought, on the contrary, it was another power.

There are some more facts that few people realize:

• Everything has two sides, if there is no sadness, then joy does not exist. If you put pretty girls side by side you won't know which one is the prettiest. If you put colors of the same tone together, you will not be able to recognize which colors are any more. If a delicious dish is eaten every day, you will no longer feel it’s tasty as it originally was. Contrast exists to boost the value of two individuals even more.

• Joy passes as quickly as sadness. Watch out, even a lottery jackpot winner, they can't be happy year after year. The glee actually lasted only for a few minutes and would smolder for several weeks. So, believe that sadness also has its time, and that suppressing it immediately is only a form of suppression. When suppressing, it will not be developed and then liberated according to the right process. As a result it will become a deeper pain, then it will come back even more terrifying than the original.

• Emotions such as anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, guilt, sadness, depression ... it's just there to awaken something else in each of us. For example, fear to protect us, worry is about creating breakthroughs, shame for us to improve, sadness is there so that we can find true joy, etc.

• The hurt people are the people who are difficult to listen to and sympathize with the hurt of others. So instead of blaming them, resenting them, asking them to sympathize with ourselves - something they are not able to do right away because they are struggling with their own hurts. The more efficient way is going inward to heal yourself and you will see the magic of it.

Being hurt is an unavoidable thing in life. The hurt is not there to be criticized, judged, denied, the pain is there for you to identify, embrace and transform; it's the part of your past, of your soul, of your life. No human life is 100% perfect and full of joy all the time. So let's accept more of our imperfections, acknowledging our hurt is also the first step in the journey of self-love for many of us.